


If I go crazy, would you still call me Superman (songfic)

by Adsagsona



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:52:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adsagsona/pseuds/Adsagsona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver reflects on himself and his friends and family, Felicity reflects on Oliver.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I go crazy, would you still call me Superman (songfic)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I've only watched season 1 of Arrow, I have an inkling of an idea what happens in season 2 because I've read about it, but I've chosen to write something that is set in season 1.  
> It is something that has been playing around in my head for a few days and I had to get it out.  
> I hope you guys enjoy the read.  
> The song Kryptonite is from 3 Doors Down and although Oliver Queen is no Superman, the description in the song kind of fits him too.

I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind  
I left my body laying somewhere in the sands of time  
I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon  
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

He stood firm on one of the many flat rooftops Starling City was compiled of. He knew almost all of them by heart, could jump them with his eyes closed and estimating the exact right distance when he leapt from one roof to the other.  
He was home. Each night he confirmed this truth for himself, needing to know that he was back and not on the island.  
Even on nights where he did not have a name to cross off his list, he went out on the rooftops. Although not many others resided on the roofs, he kept his hood over his eyes just to make sure he was not followed.  
He had grown careful.

As Oliver he could not walk the rooftops, he had to glide from one party to the other, like the man he was supposed to be. His mother and sister had already called him out, that he had changed, but he did not give them a reason, not more than they needed to know.   
They needed protection, nobody would suspect him now, not anymore.   
He proved his weaknesses to the world and the vigilante was a tall strong man in green, not rich boy Oliver Queen.   
For just a moment he had smiled on how they were fooled.

After the first incident with his mother, he had kept the habit of locking his room at night, just in case. He should have done it from the first night he had come home, but he couldn’t… he had not felt safe locked up. But he needed his family safe, not himself.  
Instead of the door he now opened the window each night he was home.  
Most of the time he could not sleep, he started awake from the sounds he had not been used to for so long.  
Still he laid on the ground and let the raindrops fall on his bare skin. On the island it made him feel alive, and he figured it would do the same for him.  
Oblivion always lured him in when he resided in the rain.

From the island he had looked over the sea, hoping that he could return to Starling City to set things right. He had done nothing but wait and survive.

 

I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon  
After all I knew it had to be something to do with you  
I really don't mind what happens now and then  
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

It had not taken him long to decide on how he would defend the city. His bow and arrow had been an evident choice.   
He thought he would work alone in his retribution, on his quest to safe Starling City. It only took him a few weeks to figure out that he was not strong enough on his own, although he would never admit that to anyone.  
Digg was his sidekick, his saviour, his newfound friend.   
He could say that he cared, but he would not show it. If he cared, people ended up dead, he had learned that some years ago. 

What he had not foreseen at all, was a superintelligent IT girl picking up on him. He thought he played it well, hiding his questions behind excuses of a playboy, but of course that had not persuaded her to stay clear of him.   
And there he thought he was actually a pretty good liar. He seriously needed to practice.

He lucked out when she didn’t believe his lies, because she became his second ally.   
The one-second-decision he had made when he was hurt had been the right one. Felicity had done more than he had ever expected.  
She could deal with more than he ever expected.

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman  
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand  
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might  
Kryptonite

He broke his training dummy. Literally broke it from the force of striking it with his bare hand.  
Everything ended badly that night.  
John was hurt, Felicity scared and Oliver… he was going crazy with worry and grief. Every time he thought he had some inkling of his life back in his hands, it got thrown back in his face.  
Tommy, Laurel, Thea, his mother, John, Felicity… they tried so hard on making him normal again, so that he could go back to who he was.  
He could not.

“Oliver?”

He did not make a move or a sound, just kept staring into the darkness which surrounded him. It was too much to react, he did not belong in this world, but in that darkness.

“Jezus, Oliver! You’re hurt!”

It was Felicity. Of course it was. She had been there for him from the first time he had needed her. Right now, he did not wish for her to see him like this.  
She could not hear what he did not say, he did not look up at her.  
Still she walked towards him, like she would a caged animal. Her hands out in front of her, as if it would make him more at ease.

He controlled his breathing so he would not make a sound, not even when she touched him. He clenched his fists, telling his body not to react in a violent manner. She couldn’t know how much he could hate human touch at times.

“Oliver, please don’t do this.” 

A touch to his cheek, willing him to look up. For a moment he did, but he regretted it instantly. He could not refuse her, how much he wanted to.

“Do what?” He finally answered with a question.

She actually smiled at his gruff voice, barely audible. 

“Run. Don’t hide inside yourself. You’re too good at that and we all need you. The city, John… me, we need you to be here for us. You can’t just pretend that…”

He looked her in the eyes for a brief moment, saw nothing that he could call her out on, and stood. He was still dressed as his alias, he had not even removed the make up which covered his eyes.   
If he just pulled his hood, he could go out in the street and shoot an arrow into the son of a bitch responsible.

If it was all that easy…

 

You called me strong, you called me weak  
But still your secrets I will keep  
You took for granted all the times I never let you down  
You stumbled in and bumped your head  
If not for me then you would be dead  
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground

Stupid Oliver for thinking that he could just waltz into my life and waltz out when it was conventient for him.  
First showing up at my office doorstep for ‘information’ for one of his rich friends. Yeah right. She knew there was something off, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.  
Of course she researched him, but everyone knew Oliver Queen and it hadn’t proved to be that hard to find.

Him being the vigilante was not a surprise. Oliver showing up in the back of her car with a bullet in his shoulder was something entirely else.   
She had not doubted her choice for a moment, she had driven him to the old factory of his father, just like he had said.   
She had his blood on her hands in trying to bring him back to life, she met John in the same circumstances.

He had thanked her and meant it, that was enough.

At times he did not think before he acted. She hoped that she could let him see that not everyone on that list was a hardened criminal, that she could get through to him.  
She had yet to find out iif that worked.

But she could not back down now.   
He would never admit it, but Oliver needed her and John.  
And she would stay with him.   
Because she seemed to need Oliver as well.

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman  
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand  
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might  
Kryptonite

“Oliver.”

Oliver turned around so that he could look at Felicity, how she stood before him. She looked really worried, not only at the blood on his green jacket, but also at his eyes.   
It felt like she was looking through him and it took all of his strength not to look away again.

“I’m here.” He just answered.

“Good, because I wasn’t planning on being with you all night, I mean, talking to you all night… Why does this always have to happen when I’m tired! Argh, you can be such a jackass sometimes, even when you’re my boss, and I don’t think…”

Oliver laid his hands on Felicity’s shoulders.

“Felicity, I am here.” He repeated very slowly and deliberately.

“Yeah, even if it is with a stabwound. Let me look at you.” She lifted her hands to the zipper of his jacket to open it up so she could look at his chest, but he stopped her.

“It’s not that bad.” 

“You could have gotten killed, if it was a little more to the left.” 

He wrapped his arms around her to hold her still. “I am here, Felicity.” He repeated.


End file.
